I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize