My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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