Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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