I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My feet surprised me
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