i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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