I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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