Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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