Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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