you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize