Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need help removing her.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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