hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize