i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize