you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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