if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize