Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize