sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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