hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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