I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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