I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize