Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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