they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
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i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
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He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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