i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize