Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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