Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Never underestimate the power of titties
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