Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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