Can i not drive my cunt home
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize