we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize