Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize