10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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