he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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