I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize