He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
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Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
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I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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