you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
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dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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