The maid of honor just puked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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