if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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