his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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