I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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