I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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