he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize