oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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