hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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