If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize