So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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