im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize