Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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