9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sober January is a disaster.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your dick twin last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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