some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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