she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
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Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
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it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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