I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize