so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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